How Do Couples Deal With One Person Out-Earning The Other?

Being the breadwinner is historically new for women. So how do we navigate fiscally unequal relationships, when behavioral norms are still in formation? In Forbes, The Humphreys Group President Diane Bourdo discussed how to handle financially unequal relationships.

“It’s important to note that in fiscally unequal relationships, it’s not about the money. It’s about our underlying values,” Diane said. “This may sound ridiculous, but here are a few scenarios where our values and views are having a bigger impact on the relationship:

  • You and your friend or partner are moving into an apartment together. One of you can afford $800 and the other only $500. How do you manage this?
  • Your friend has invited you to a destination celebration, all expenses paid. How do you feel about the situation?
  • You and your friend or partner plan to travel together. One of you has a good income, the other has a tighter budget. How do you handle this?

Finding common ground in a relationship requires understanding what is important to ourselves and listening carefully to understand what is important to the other person. When we understand what gives the other person meaning, what they value, we can develop empathy and mutual respect. We also need to be able to communicate what is important to ourselves.”

Read the full Forbes article, “How Do Couples Deal With One Person Out-Earning The Other?

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Diane Bourdo, CFP®
Diane Bourdo, CFP®

Diane Bourdo is the President of The Humphreys Group. Diane has dedicated her life’s work to helping women make smart financial decisions. For nearly 30 years, she has developed investment management and financial planning strategies that allow her clients to create lives that reflect their values. Diane was named an InvestmentNews 2020 Women to Watch and has been recognized in Forbes, SF Chronicle, NY Times and more for her work and writing.

Diane Bourdo, CFP®
Diane Bourdo, CFP®

Diane Bourdo is the President of The Humphreys Group. Diane has dedicated her life’s work to helping women make smart financial decisions. For nearly 30 years, she has developed investment management and financial planning strategies that allow her clients to create lives that reflect their values. Diane was named an InvestmentNews 2020 Women to Watch and has been recognized in Forbes, SF Chronicle, NY Times and more for her work and writing.

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